


Hide Don't Seek

by DontRememberMe



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Protective Klaus Hargreeves, References to Depression, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26630680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontRememberMe/pseuds/DontRememberMe
Summary: Klaus hasn't been able to contact you in days and fears the worst again, bringing himself to search your apartment in the hope to find you before it's too late and the sinking feeling in him becomes a reality.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves & Reader, Klaus Hargreeves/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	Hide Don't Seek

**Author's Note:**

> A small oneshot that may or may not develop further about Klaus Hargreeves and Reader, please note that this is not proof read, so I apologise for that. WARNING; This story contains possible drug and-or suicide triggers, so please read at your own risk. If some concepts and thoughts from this story are similar to your own, please stay and seek help, you are loved <3

Klaus wandered through your house, searching for you. You hadn’t been picking up any of his calls as of lately and he was growing concerned, he knew that you sometimes had the tendency to disappear from time to time, just like he did, but this time felt different to him.

Klaus wasn’t sure if it was straight up intuition or maybe his own powers were actually improving, or maybe it was him finally getting a real sense of caring about something, he wasn’t sure, but one thing he knew was that he wasn’t leaving till he found you. If he just saw that you were okay, he could breathe. He didn’t want to be horribly surprised if the next time he saw you, he could just see, or rather walk, right through you. Never being able to touch your warm skin again, or run his hands through your hair.

He shuddered at the thought of that being a possibility, it’s not like he would never get to see you again, but he wanted you very much alive and well, not like his Brother Ben who followed him wherever he went, very much cold and dead but still a friendly face to see none the less.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are...” He called out into the empty looking apartment in a cooing voice, sighing and running a hand through his hair when he heard nothing.  
He sighed in defeat, turning and thinking of leaving to look elsewhere for you when he heard a noise suddenly. He span back around on his heel so fast he felt dizzy for just a second “Bathroom...” He muttered in realization before making a quick sprint to it, it had been far too long since he had seen your pretty face.

You and Klaus had been close for a few years now, you didn’t really know what to call yourselves, but you knew that you both cared about each other. Neither of you had really said the solidifying three words “I love you” yet, and you often wondered sometimes if either of you ever will, but you were good for each other for the time being and that was enough, for now. When and if you said it, you wanted it to mean something.

You had your own problems, just as Klaus had his. Neither of you liked burdening the other with baggage and tales of heartbreak and grief, so you always wondered if any of that would breathe and rest out in the open one day. That wasn’t necessarily a stage you were ready for just yet, but your own manic mind had other plans today. The thing with mental health is, you can’t control it when you start to spiral into a downfall, you’re at your own terrifying hands of self-hatred and even your most darkest thoughts can suddenly turn into a reality in less than even a few seconds, and that’s what scared you the most. You didn’t necessarily want to die, you just wanted the pain to end.

Klaus was quick to knock on the door, startling you. You weren’t sure if you even heard him walk inside in the first place what with everything feeling suddenly feeling more loud around you, even though the small bathroom you were hiding in was filled with heavy silence and nothing but the sound of your own ragged breathing. To you, it felt like the loudest place on earth as more deafening sounds and thoughts worsened their attack on your mentality, making you clutch at your own pill bottle in you shaking hands.

Another panic attack. Klaus knew you struggled living with severe anxiety, and while his downfalls and vices were a little different than yours as well as how he handled sudden attacks like this, you had similar issues. PTSD is what made you close at first, both of you needing to confide in the other when everything felt a little bit too real again, one of you always helped the other stay grounded and feel safe. To you, there was no place like home other than Klaus. But right now, you wanted to do nothing but swallow your pill bottle whole and disappear into the void itself.

“I know you’re in there, open the door.” Came his voice again, bringing you out of your own mind as always.

His voice was never something that ever intimidated or even irritated you, it was always soft like velvet itself. It came across as it’s usual soothing self, but you knew you were making him worry by the notes of fear and concern laced within it.

“I… I can’t…” You finally breathe, your voice shaking as you curled yourself into a ball against the wall

“I know you can… Please? I’m worried about you, you haven’t been answering my calls or texts… Is it getting bad again?...”

The obvious question hit you like a ton of bricks as you felt yourself sink lower, as obvious as it was, he made it so clear. Even when you got into states like this, you could never think straight enough to even realise your downward spiral had even began, often being too shook up and blinded by it’s claws sinking into you again.

Klaus always knew, just as you always knew when he started to fall. It was like a physic connection almost, further making you closer. It always started the same way- Your responses in texts start to get slower and slower before you avoid any and all calls, until you suddenly disappear completely. Some days you suddenly start responding again like nothing happened, often Klaus returning your texts with a good scolding- And you deserved it of course.

And then there are the times you don’t come back. You don’t respond to a single being living on this earth and retreat into hiding from the entire world, that’s when Klaus starts to worry. He always had an understanding of this sort of thing, because he knew how it felt. He made you feel less crazy because he believed everything that you were feeling, thinking or even seeing and was never one to dismiss any of the above. He knew how terrifying some attacks were to go through and he was always so quick to willingly sit in the dark with you until the storm of bad thoughts and intentions would finally dull down just enough again.

While he drowned his own thoughts in alcohol or drug use, you had other means. Klaus hated that you wanted to hurt yourself that way and occasionally, you two would argue over it- With Klaus saying at least his way doesn’t hurt him the way you hurt yourself, but you were no stranger to alcohol or drugs yourself, simply preferring one method over another. You’d argue back with him that the stuff he takes to keep himself happy does in fact damage him, he just only ever notices it in the morning in the form of a mean hangover the next day before drinking more to forget about it. It was never an argument either of you ever won, and you hoped there would never actually be a victor to the theory of what indeed was most damaging to either of you, the conclusion you draw out of that dark outcome being that you both lose.

Klaus’s voice came again, helping you ground yourself back down to reality once more as you tried your best to shake that thought away, it was defiantly not something you liked thinking about it. You sometimes thought to yourself if there was an alternative reality out there in which you and Klaus are happy together without any vices holding either of you back and just being happy and living out a normal life together.

But maybe that was just fantasy.

“I’m not leaving till you open the door.”

You sighed a shaken breath, he was always so stubborn sometimes, but you knew he was doing this for you. Saving you from yourself yet again, you both admired and hated it.  
You looked down at the pill bottle still clutched in your shaking hand, you hated your medication and felt like there was only once use for them in this moment- And that was to use all of it at the same time, you just felt so tired.

“Why would you want to be here for this?...” Your voice broke as you smiled sadly to yourself, more tears streaming down your face as you concentrated on the tiny writing on the label of the pill bottle “What’s the point?...”

“There’s always a point, you just need help finding one. I want to help…”

“Just leave, Klaus… Thanks for everything, I just… I have to go…”

Klaus kneeled down, placing his hand against the door “I’m not finished with you just yet.”

“I’m not worth it, stop worrying about me!...”

“I will when you drop those god damn pills in the toilet!” He said, more out of desperation than anger. He could never be angry at you even when the only thing you want to do is smile down the end of an empty pill bottle. “Please…” He pressed his forehead against the door with a thud, closing his eyes tightly “I can’t lose you too…” He whimpered almost painfully

You closed your eyes tightly, feeling your body shake more than it already was as half of you screamed at yourself to open the god damn door, trying to fight yourself on the matter. Logic eventually won as you tried pushing yourself up, everything in your body almost trying to protest and get back to the matter at hand. You mustered the energy to get up, unlocking the door.

Klaus’s green eyes widened at the sudden click, he wasn’t sure if he had gotten through to you too late or not, but as soon as he heard the click of the door unlocking, he wasted no time in pushing it open with desperate force, seeing you sink back down to the ground in defeat, looking at some pills that were now in hand.

“Don’t move. Drop them.”

Klaus saw the unpredictable look on your face, any sudden move and he could chance you shoving the handful in your mouth and swallow before he would get to you. He put his hands out cautiously, his tattooed palms trying to get you to trust him to get closer.

“It would be so easy…” You muttered quietly

“No it wouldn’t…” He frowned “Losing you would be one of the hardest things ever… I don’t know what I’d do…”

“You don’t need my, Klaus…” You smiled sadly “No one does, I’m useless. I’m only good at making you worry…”

“That’s not true at all.” He protested “I need you…” He inched that little bit closer, stopping when he noticed you take in a sharp breath when he did and inched your handful that much closer to your lips.

“Why? What even are we, Klaus?...” You laughed sadly, lightly sifting through the pills in your hand with your thumb.

“What do you mean? We-“ You cut him off before he would try and pass off with what he always did, never really answering the question

“What are we really?”

The question hung heavily in the already thick air for a moment as Klaus swallowed thickly, he knew this wasn’t something he could hide from forever, but he was hoping for a little more time to do it right after finally taking months to trust his own feelings for you. They never seemed to fade and only grew stronger, especially after these situations, and losing you was never an option.

“I wanted more time, but if it keeps you here with me right now, then fuck it…” He breathed, giving you a look and asking the silent question of if he could approach you closer, you barley nodded. He moved slowly as to not startle you and kneeled down, looking right at you and you could tell there was such honesty in his emerald eyes and expression in that moment. Your hand closed around the handful of pills to secure them, the little things almost making you feel safe with them in hand “Just in case…” You thought.

“Look, I’m sorry it took me longer than it should to figure out, but… I love you… And I want to prove it before you think about doing a fucking thing with those things.”

“You take pills too…” You muttered

“At least mine make me feel good…”

“Do they?...”

Another silence cut through the air.

“Usually…” He said quietly “But we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you.”

“That’s a first.” You breathe a sad laugh

“Hey, I think about you every day, you know that... And don’t you forget it.” He leaned against the wall beside you

Klaus felt you tense up at the sudden side by side contact, but soon relaxed against him little by little, his mere presence having a type of calming effect over you as usual. Then again, Klaus did tend to have that effect over people, and it was one of the many reasons why he charmed you so much in the first place. You would never understand how people could have been so cruel to him in the past.

“I’m sorry…” You said, after a moment as tears started to fall again

“Hey…” He said soothingly, looking at you “Don’t be, I have my bad days too… I’m just glad you didn’t do anything drastic, you know I’ll always be here to pick you back when you fall, it’s our thing…” He laughed slightly, leaning his head against yours

“Mm…” You hummed in response, looking back down at the pills

“Give me those.” He said, scooping them up in once swift grabbing motion of his hand

“Hey!...” You started to protest before he could silence you with the sudden sensation of his lips pressed against yours, that always sealed the deal and finally got your breathing to still.

Your eyes snapped open at the sudden sound of the pills hitting the water at the bottom of the toilet bowl, some pills hitting the porcelain with little clinks on their way down. “Klaus…” You whined against his lips

“Nope, not having it. We’re picking you up new medication and I’m keeping it with me from now on, you’ll get them when you need them once a day.” He said sternly, keeping his caring tone of voice as he tapped your nose.

“Fine…” You sighed, knowing it was for your own good. You really didn’t want to drag him into another situation like this anytime soon. After this, you only really had one thing to clear the air with him on “And Klaus?...” You continued after a moment, making him look at you “Thank you for finding me again, I love you too…”


End file.
